00:00
00:00
View Profile Jonas
There is a conspiracy within this sentence.

37, Male

Soviet Robot

Dan's Discount Saikyo Dojo

Filthadelphia

Joined on 9/12/02

Level:
19
Exp Points:
3,745 / 4,010
Exp Rank:
10,631
Vote Power:
6.08 votes
Rank:
Police Sergeant
Global Rank:
7,048
Blams:
726
Saves:
535
B/P Bonus:
12%
Whistle:
Bronze
Trophies:
11
Medals:
590
Supporter:
6y 6m 11d
Gear:
15

Jonas's News

Posted by Jonas - March 22nd, 2010


Well goodness, it looks like all those photos are nearly ready to be posted.

I bet you kids want to know all about what happened at the Newgrounds.com NYC meet up.

Rain, Lesbians, an Apple Store, and a Spiderman cookie is the quickest summation I can give you, considering the pictures will speak for themselves, and include none of the things that I just mentioned that all happened, save for one.

Til then, here's a steamy teaser and a new special friend we met.

.
/* */

NOBODY IS GAY


Posted by Jonas - January 17th, 2010


I am tired of scripts that people don't bother proofing.

Alright all you knuckleheaded would be artists and game makers, let me speak from the bottom of my heart (at little to no charge I might add!)

If you want someone to record lines for you, before you give all of the fine folks on your little email list a script that you hammered out in some throw of passion thinking that everything is kosher, and speaks a novel of your amazing skill as a writer/designer READ YOUR OWN WORK OUT LOUD BEFORE YOU SEND IT OFF.

I'm sick of stopping mid recording because Johnny Noveletta decided that he couldn't be bothered to spell check something, or because he forgot BASIC WORDS IN HIS SCRIPT.

Examples of current idiocy. I'm not singling anyone out, but this is just one script I've received and some of the examples of POOR WRITING SKILLS. I want to record lines for you guys, but I'm not your copy editor, nor is any self respecting voice actor. If you can't get yourself to produce READABLE scripts, you shouldn't be making them.

Original Line -
- I didn't see the world from different point of view than just mine. I was selfish.

Well is it "- I didn't see the world from (a) different point of view than just mine. I was selfish."

or

"- I (couldn't) see the world from (a) different point of view other than mine. I was selfish."

or again for better flow

"- I (couldn't) see the world from (a) different point of view other than (my own). I was selfish."

and even then, being selfish doesn't fit.

See when you have a hot broad and you don't let your friends tap that second, third, or even sixth, that's being selfish. When you fail to listen to other people's thoughts, that's either being stubborn or closeminded. THERE ARE OTHER WORDS TO DESCRIBE EMOTIONS. USE A THESAURUS.

This is just a single line off an entire script, but there's plenty more I could be pressed into sharing, but really my point stands. You should be able to read your own script out loud as should someone else. When in doubt ask your Mom to proofread it. She'll be proud you ain't drawing tits, and are such a sensitive well thought out child.

Anyways, if you want a voice, that's fucking great. I'll be glad to help, but send me a script that actually shows you're serious about what you're doing, I'm serious about what I do.

And now, I'm going to record fart noises.

Oh and bonus line from same script.

"- It's his Tamashii no Ame, Soul's Rain."

If you have to explain the meaning of a word while speaking it, kill yourself.

It's his DICKFUCKMCSPARKLE. Soul's Rain.

I love you guys, let me know if you need some voices.


Posted by Jonas - January 16th, 2010


Sorry guys. I'm pretty forgetful, so I make to do lists to keep myself organized.

You can ignore all of this stuff, since it's pretty unimportant.

SET UP PRINTER-DONE

RECORD LINES-DONE

PRINT ZUNE LABEL-DONE

CLEAR MUSIC/PICTURES OFF ZUNE

SHIP OFF ZUNE AND PRINTER

WORK ON YOUR GOD DAMNED FLASH MOVIE YOU PIECE OF WORTHLESS SHIT.

THE OTHER SHIT LOOKS DOWN ON YOU.

BECOME A VALUED PIECE OF SHIT.

TAKE OUT GARBAGE-DONE

TRADE IN WIRELESS ADAPTER YOU IDIOT

BUY PUSH IN PINS - DONE

DO SOME LAUNDRY

SELL THOSE FUCKING MAGIC CARDS YOU THOUGHT WERE AWESOME 10 YEARS AGO

FUCK SELL THOSE SPARE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS BOOKS SINCE YOU DON'T HAVE FRIENDS ANY MORE

SELL YOUR SEMI RARE VIDEO GAMES YOU FUCKING TOOL

HOW ABOUT SELLING SOME OF THOSE DAMN COMICS THAT DO NOTHING BUT TAKE UP SPACE AND MAKE YOU MISERABLE LOOKING AT THEM?

HOW ABOUT SOME OF THOSE RARE STATUES YOU FUCKING DICK

ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR RECORDING SET UP INSTEAD OF STACKING IT AROUND WHEN YOU'RE DONE USING IT. GOD FUCKING CHRIST, YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO DO ANYTHING PROPERLY.
DONE

THROW A BUNCH OF TRASH OUT THAT HAVE KEPT FOR YEARS. - DONE

TALK WITH YOUR DYING FATHER, YOU PRICK

FIGURE OUT HOW TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THIS FAR YOU FUCKING FAILURE

TRADE IN SOME GAMES THAT YOU DON'T NEED BECAUSE YOU'RE OVERALL A PILE OF FUCKING SOBBING PROCRASTINATION

FIND OUT WHY NO ONE LIKES TALKING WITH YOU. OH FUCK, YOU'RE NOT JUST UNLIKABLE, YOU'RE A POOR CLINGY CONVERSATIONALIST. HAVE YOU EVER SAID GOODBYE WITHOUT STAYING ON THE LINE FOR ANOTHER HOUR, YOU OBTUSE CLUNDERCOCK.

ORGANIZE YOUR ART DESK AND GET A PHOTO TO THAT ONE FUCKING KID WHOM ASKED NICELY ABOUT WHAT YOU USE FOR DRAWING TOOLS AND YOU'VE DUCKED COMPLETELY BECAUSE YOU WHINE AND MOAN ABOUT HOW HARD YOUR LIFE IS BUT YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY EXCUSES BEYOND BEING A CUNT ABOUT EXISTENCE

FIND SOME WAY TO NOT FALL DEEPER INTO AN ALREADY DEEPER SENSE OF SELF LOATHING

WHOOPS FUCKED THAT UP, BETTER TRY HARDER STILL.

ONCE YOU'RE ALL DONE WITH THAT, GO TAKE A SHOWER, YOU DISGUST ME.

Phew. Quite a list.

Tomorrow's going to be busy, as is my next couple of weeks in general.

As always, apologies in advance to the affected parties.

The only person that's holding you back is the one you refuse to face in the mirror.

To Do List


Posted by Jonas - December 19th, 2009


So our pal Golfinho made a flash.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
521697

It's a clusterfuck of love.

He sent me a script with no indications as to what was going on and speaks limited English.

I did my best with the lines, and tried to help him out, as this was his first flash with voice acting.

I think he kept the lines I sent at default for exporting with Flash though. Fair warning to anyone that plans on using voices in there flash, make sure you're not using default settings if you're publishing.

That'll wreck stuff pretty badly.

Most recordings are 44.1 kbps in stream and use MP3 for format, but if you chop that shit down to say default of 16 kbps, stuff gets lost in the process. Stuff like quality and dignity.

Other times however, it's the actor's fault because we're phoning shit in and have terrible mics.

FYI.

New Flash out


Posted by Jonas - December 11th, 2009


Sorry 40 minute ago me, I listened to future me.

I now have a new apartment locally without the need for a giant move, which would have been a hassle. And instead of roommates, I now have a sucking lack of drama in my life.

Fuck this noise, I'm packing up, and setting my place up as my

FORTRESS OF VIRGINITY.

Dungeons and Dragons and discussion of Fulci movies EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.


Posted by Jonas - December 6th, 2009


You already know this but thanks for the advice. Also 40 minutes ago me, that advice was pretty solid as well.

Something to think on.

Sorry about the whole time cops busting you up. Apparently those are a big problem in that area.

You know, the time stream.

Past or Future, no matter where you travel, you're Van Dammed if you do and Van Dammed if you don't.

Dear Future Me,


Posted by Jonas - December 2nd, 2009


Oh hey, I'm getting Evicted and looking for places to stay.

The internet is the worst couch to crash on though, so I'm looking for some place a little more comfy.

ANY IDEAS?


Posted by Jonas - November 11th, 2009


Congrats to OneGunn for winning those free wings.

Oh, and here was the final 16 people that may have won, but didn't.

MAY THEIR SHAME BE ETERNAL UNTIL THE NEXT CONTEST.

Well, except
OneGunn who totally won.

1-Duffle
3-Itsbroken
25- Twilight
8-Kevin

30-MelodiousOrpheus
31-TimeCrush
39-destrutin
40-Wdonica

42-Five3
44-LBRocker5
7-HeavyMetalGuy
58-GoryBlizzard

59-Skwrull
66-Tykwa
72-OneGunn
74-Egoraptor


Posted by Jonas - November 7th, 2009


Ok.

First congrats to RaccoonMario for winning the last contest. Too bad he's in Germany. He doesn't have a Bdubs over there.

Thankfully we've satiated his need using store credit, to fill that hole in his I-won-but-it's-useless-save-for-gloati ng organ. Commonly known as the urixdolphagus organ.

ANYWAYS, I still have that pile of Buffalo Wild Wings Coupons to give out, so here's how it works.

No more surveys for now, so it's going to be easy to enter.

SIMPLY POST A COMMENT HERE ON THIS JOURNAL ENTRY. THAT'S IT.

The contest is open to US people only, because let's be honest the last good thing to come out of another country was when we pulled out of Iraq before blowing. That was a messy and long affair.

Deadline is mighty damn simple. Once this entry leaves the frontpage (and I notice it) I'll randomly pick one of the entries live via stickam using my absurd dice rolling methods.

ALSO I got into a car accident today, so click those userpage ads, since that will likely fuck me over.

You enjoy your wings, I'll enjoy my shitty luck.

To cheer everyone but me up, here's what I didn't go as for Halloween.

Newgrounds Contest- Free Chicken Wings. Yes, Again.


Posted by Jonas - October 20th, 2009


Okay, so here's a delicious easy contest for everyone.

I have a coupon book for an almost year's worth of free wings from Buffalo Wild Wings.

Mind you it's not quite a year as due to internet problems, and the time it took to actually took so it's more like 10 months. BUT DAMN IT, it's a pile of free chicken.

The actual contest -
FOLLOW THE SIMPLE RULES RIGHT HERE.

As this isn't staff, anyone can win.
That's right Wade, a cheap chance to feed your kids.

WINK